Relationship struggles have intensified over the past few weeks and I have been torn about God's will for me. He has me in a holding pattern, suspended in distance and anger. I keep lifting my heart to ask if I am to revert to my normal response (compassion, mercy, kindness). But I keep hearing "Wait".
It is bizarre.
I see how He is using it to do His work, but it is still bizarre and counter to what He normally asks.
So I wait for further instructions, and pray that I will hear Him when He speaks.
My prayer continues to be that I do His will. That I am open to it. That I am like clay rather than marble.
I will obedience.
But my heart sings another song.
My heart hurts. It is tired. Worn out. Wrung out. Broken and glued together into disfigurement.
It hurts.
I was thinking about all of this while praying this morning.
My prayer to the Father is always that I be strengthened to do His will. No matter what.
I want that prayer. Truly.
But this morning I was given a gift. I was shown that I can pray to my mother, His mother, another way.
With her I can pour out my heart, and ask for her help. I don't have to be careful to pray for the right things the way I usually do. She is Mother. She is woman. She understands that while I long for obedience, I also long for peace and comfort and a simple life of quiet joy. She knows that I won't be rash or headstrong, but that I do need to be able to ask for things that I want. I even need to vent.
For some reason, it is hard to ask the Father. For Him I want only to be holy. With her, I can admit to wanting to be happy.
She is mother.
Blessed Mother; pray for me.
3 comments:
I "respectfully" disagree. There is only one mediator between man and God....our Lord Jesus Christ.
Remember Mary. Admire her. Bless her. Be inspired by her. But do not go beyond what the New Testament portrays. Our calling is to be the mother of Jesus more than to venerate her (Luke 8:21).
Hi Ike,
One of the things the new testament portrays is Christ's giving us His mother, and giving us to her. This takes place on the cross. This mutual giving and exchange of roles from Him to us is His last act. He conveys it in His final words.
She is there with Him now; His mother and mine. And just as I have asked you to pray for me, as I ask my friends, particularly those closest to God to pray for me, I ask her.
When I speak of praying to Mary, it is in the older sense of the word. Blessed Mother, intercede for me, I pray thee. It does not mean worship.
I am familiar with the arguments against asking Mary's intercession. But I find the 1800+ year Christian tradition (including protestant) of doing so more convincing and scripturally cohesive than the recent predisposition toward pushing her away.
Peace,
Eva
It was not long ago,I too would have disagreed with Eva,today I find myself somewhere in the middle.Today my thoughts go to Jesus final words from the cross.
Jesus speaks seven times on the cross. The third time he says;
When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.
(John 19:26-27)
Was he reminding only his beloved John? I think it was much more.I believe in this moment;the chosen third time he spoke he ensured us all.Speaking a truth into us; this is not just my mother,this is your mother.She is more,cry to her,love her,respect her in all ways for always.After contemplating the all of His words,I too feel I can cry to our mother.I have a loving holy mother who like all good mothers will hear and intercede for me.How blessed are we too have a mother and a father to call out to. This sounds like a perfect plan by a perfectly loving God.
Biblical meaning of the number 3 is- divine completeness and perfection.
The 7th time Jesus speaks from the cross,the final time he says;
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit":
( Luke 23:46 )
Biblical meaning of the number 7-resurrection,spiritual completeness;Fathers perfection.
I find myself not only chewing on words today but the numbers around them.
When the subject of Mary has come up in the past, the conversation was always ended by me..usually with my old stand by comment "we will have to agree to disagree" This time..i will have to say;"I am begining to agree"
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