If I serve Thee...

From Lying Awake:

If I serve Thee in hopes of Paradise

deny me Paradise.

If I serve Thee in fear of hell,

condemn me to hell.

But if I love Thee for love of Thyself

then grant me Thyself.

From Lying Awake:

Sister John opened a fresh notebook and began to write. Adoration welled up through the pain, closing of the gap between lover and Beloved. The force of his pesence curved eternity in on itself; it was not her love rising after all, but his love pulling her toward him. She fell upward into brilliance, where all suffering was released.

In the fire of his embrace, all that was her ceased to exist. Only what was God reamined.

I am

The cloister bell, the voice of Christ.

He spoke again:

I am

She tried to obey but was frozen in beauty, like a fly trapped in amber. She could not move.

Nothing exists apart from me.

Self had been an illusion, a dream.

God dreaming.

Nearly joy

From Lying Awake:

"Suffering borne by two is nearly joy."