The Begging Rain

I am reading a stunning novel called Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, and while looking for other books from him, found this.

The Begging Rain

Afterwards
when I am not with you
and you are alone enough
to count the nails in your heart,
tough
and studded like a treasure-house door,
when you arrange your silences
in the vase of an hour,
balancing the bouquet with memories
of hands held,
a spike of laughter
and the colour of my eyes,

when you sit within the swell
of your heartbeat
and the purple tide of daydream
laps at the shore of all your selves,
and your skin sings, perfume-pierced,

Afterwards,
surrender to this thought of me:
as the mimosas of Maharashtra in May
long for monsoon
I long for you;
as the crimson cactus flowers of Thar
long for full moon
I long for you,
and in all my afterwards,
when I am not with you,
my heart turns toward the window of my life
and begs for rain.

C.S. Lewis on Home

From The Problem of Pain:

"Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.”

Guinevere's Loves

I recently caught the end of the movie "Last Knight", with Sean Connery as King Arther and Richard Gere as Lancelot. I was just in time to see Lancelot and Guinevere interupted by the king from a kiss impashioned by delay and restraint.

The film is full of wonderful quotes, but the scene between the king and his queen in which she pledges her love for him and her will to love him, along with his response, was particularly poignant and rich.

It is a wonderful movie, filled with sword fights, chivalry, romance, and lessons about real love.

Psalm 50:2

From Zion God shines forth.
Perfect in beauty.

This Tremendous Lover

I'm wondering about the book "This Tremendous Lover" by Dom Eugene Boylan, and if it would be worth pursuing. I can't find an online version of it to explore, other than a one page excerpt from Amazon. The title alone seems promising, but my shelfspace is already filled with books that I only paritally love (or less), so I'm hesitant.

It's at times like this that I wish people were actually reading this blog.

Sarah McLachlan: Witness (song lyrics)

(Listen here...)

Make me a witness.
Take me out
out of darkness
out of doubt.

I won't weigh you down
with good intentions.
Won't make fire out of clay
or other inventions.

Will we burn
in heaven
like we do
down here?

Will the change come
while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.

And when we're done
soul searching
as we carried the weight
and died for the cause.

Is misery
made beautiful
right before our eyes?
Will mercy
be revealed
or blind us where we stand?

Will we burn
in heaven
like we do
down here?

Will the change come
while we're waiting?

Everyone is waiting...

Exploding Like Spiders?

"The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

--Jack Kerouac

2 Sam 22:20

He also brought me forth into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me.

David's Election

I finally finished "Certain Women" by Madeleine L'Engle. Not an impressive book, but I was certain that there was stuff in it for me, and kept on.

Here are a few nuggets, on King David.

"...it's one of the great things about David, that he never tried to rationalize or justify what he'd done. ... He cried out in an agony of repentance, 'I have sinned against the Lord.' ... I think David suddenly saw himself as an ordinary human being who sinned, like other human beings, and that's when he truly began to love God, and to understand that he was God's anointed, not because he was sinless, but because God had chosen him and he didn't have to understand why."

"...it was only after David lusted after Bathsheba, caused Uriah's death, only after he had failed utterly with Tamar and Amnon and Absalom, only after he was fleeing his enemies, fleeing his holy city of Jerusalem, that he truly became a king. ... Maybe we have to sin, to know ourselves human, faulty, and flawed, before there is any possibility of greatness. ... David did become great only after he'd lost everything. "

Song 2:14

"O my dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the secret recesses of the cliff,
Let me see you,
let me hear your voice,
For your voice is sweet,
and you are lovely."

Brokeback Beauty

I watched most of Brokeback Mountain on Saturday, having avoided it since it's release. I didn't expect it to be so beautiful...

John Chrysostom on Sermons

"Every sermon should be an agony of the soul, a passion to beget Christ in the souls of men."

Psalm 38:10

My Lord, my deepest yearning is before you; my groaning is not hidden from you.

Blessed are we

How blessed it is to be female.

God intereacted with Mary in a way humans had never before experienced. He came to her intimately. He became her spouse.

She knew Him.

As a woman I can ponder this experience in ways that men probably cannot.

What a gift; to be feminine.

From "The Maiden's Bequest" (2) by George MacDonald

"Even her new love did not more than occasionally ruffle the flow of her inward river. She had long cherished a deeper love, which kept it very calm. Her stillness was always wandering into prayer; but never did she offer a petition that associated Alec's fate with her own; though sometimes she would find herself holding up her heart like an empty cup."

Psalm 16:11

In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Oh to be immaculate...

Last night I thought more about Mary and the Holy Spirit after the annunciation, imagining her greeting Him who her heart knew and loved.

And I realized that only an immaculate conception could allow her soul to open like Lawrence's anemone to receive Him. Even the faintest hint of sin such as I carry would have rendered her incapable of such a greeting; she would have been crushed by the weight of her unworthiness.

This morning's reading from Joshua (3:1-13) tells us that the people needed to be sanctified in order to be present when God's wonders were performed. How much more so do we need purification before standing in His very presence?

How joyous her purity must have allowed her to be in receiving Him...

From "The Maiden's Bequest" (1) by George MacDonald

"Even Annie did not then know that it was the soul's hunger, the vague sense of a need which nothing but the God of human faces can satisfy, that sent her money-loving, poverty-stricken, pining, grumbling old aunt out staring toward the east. It is this formless idea of something at hand that keeps men and women striving to tear from the bosom of the world the secret of their own hopes. How little they know that what they look for is in reality their God!"

Romans 10:8

The word is near you, on your lips and in your heart...

Annie Dillard on Touch and Heaven

From Feast Days (III)

I love with my hand, not my heart.
When I draw your face
my fingers trace your lips.
Crossing a page, my hand keeps
contours; I know that art
is edges.
I touch when I type.
With every finger's tip
I travel the weave of the given.
Hand me a pencil,
cut off my head,
and I will draw you heaven.