What a Holy Week it was! Each year is differently profound.
In mid-March I pondered whether Mary's gift of foot washing and anointing may have been inspirational to Jesus later service to his disciples. My experience last Thursday confirmed it.
As usual in this service, I knelt and wept as people went forward to have one of our deacons or seminarians wash their feet. A lovely man who I'd not yet met turned around twice to ask if I was all right, apparently unused to the sounds of sobs in church. The bent backs and bowed heads of these servants of Christ were heart rending.
I wondered who God had in mind for me, and eventually went up to one who washed us for the first time this year. I sat before him, the sobs rising in intensity as he lifted my foot.
And I still can't believe what he did.
I've participated in these services for 5 or 6 years and each time the men have been unfailingly reverent and tender, clearly acting in the person of Christ. Each one kept his face turned down so that we can better imagine He who first washed us.
I think that the Holy Spirit whispered to this man for me.
He took my naked, humble foot, no thing of beauty, and lavished it with love the same way I imagine Mary caressing Christ. It was an act of profound intimacy which I cannot possibly describe.
I was undone.
I am trying to figure out how to thank him for his obedience to the Spirit's prompting to give me this gift.
The generosity of our Lord...
Monday, April 13, 2009
George MacDonald on the Passions
From Phantastes:
"The hot fever of life had gone by, and I breathed the clear mountain-air of the land of Death. I had never dreamed of such blessedness. It was not that I had in any way ceased to be what I had been. The very fact that anything can die, implies the existence of something that cannot die; which must either take to itself another form, as when the seed that is sown dies, and arises again; or, in conscious existence, may, perhaps, continue to lead a purely spiritual life. If my passions were dead, the souls of the passions, those essential mysteries of the spirit which had imbodied themselves in the passions, and had given to them all their glory and wonderment, yet lived, yet glowed, with a pure, undying fire. They rose above their vanishing earthly garments, and disclosed themselves angels of light."
"The hot fever of life had gone by, and I breathed the clear mountain-air of the land of Death. I had never dreamed of such blessedness. It was not that I had in any way ceased to be what I had been. The very fact that anything can die, implies the existence of something that cannot die; which must either take to itself another form, as when the seed that is sown dies, and arises again; or, in conscious existence, may, perhaps, continue to lead a purely spiritual life. If my passions were dead, the souls of the passions, those essential mysteries of the spirit which had imbodied themselves in the passions, and had given to them all their glory and wonderment, yet lived, yet glowed, with a pure, undying fire. They rose above their vanishing earthly garments, and disclosed themselves angels of light."
Saturday, April 11, 2009
George MacDonald on Dying of Desire (II)
From Phantastes:
"He could not come near her, could not speak to her, could not hear a sound from those sweet lips, to which his longing eyes would cling like bees to their honey-founts. Ever and anon he sang to himself: "I shall die for love of the maiden;" and ever he looked again, and died not, though his heart seemed ready to break with intensity of life and longing. And the more he did for her, the more he loved her; and he hoped that, although she never appeared to see him, yet she was pleased to think that one unknown would give his life to her. He tried to comfort himself over his separation from her, by thinking that perhaps some day she would see him and make signs to him, and that would satisfy him; "for," thought he, "is not this all that a loving soul can do to enter into communion with another? Nay, how many who love never come nearer than to behold each other as in a mirror; seem to know and yet never know the inward life; never enter the other soul; and part at last, with but the vaguest notion of the universe on the borders of which they have been hovering for years?"
"He could not come near her, could not speak to her, could not hear a sound from those sweet lips, to which his longing eyes would cling like bees to their honey-founts. Ever and anon he sang to himself: "I shall die for love of the maiden;" and ever he looked again, and died not, though his heart seemed ready to break with intensity of life and longing. And the more he did for her, the more he loved her; and he hoped that, although she never appeared to see him, yet she was pleased to think that one unknown would give his life to her. He tried to comfort himself over his separation from her, by thinking that perhaps some day she would see him and make signs to him, and that would satisfy him; "for," thought he, "is not this all that a loving soul can do to enter into communion with another? Nay, how many who love never come nearer than to behold each other as in a mirror; seem to know and yet never know the inward life; never enter the other soul; and part at last, with but the vaguest notion of the universe on the borders of which they have been hovering for years?"
Friday, April 10, 2009
Wormicide
It was raining the other day, and as I left work and walked across the vast parking lot I watched a worm squirm his way through a puddle. The sight of this gets me every time, and I bent to try to rescue him. He was slippery and annoyed by my "help", energetically resisting my efforts. I eventually did grab him, hoping I didn't hurt him in the process, and walked him over to a landscaped area which offered some dirt.
I felt both virtuous and victorious.
For roughly 13 seconds.
Then I saw another worm, this time already dead.
Then another.
Then another.
And a sense of futility rolled over me; the parking lot was too big. I was surrounded by other parking lots. The city was full of parking lots and driveways and other surfaces all covered with suicidal worms awaiting destruction.
I couldn't possibly save them.
That's when the anger hit; what the heck is wrong with worms that they end up drowning on asphalt?
Where do they all come from?
Why do I feel guilty about them?
And then, as if in a Hallmark card commercial, silent violins began to play and I thought of birds.
Birds were the answer; every rainstorm is a gift to the birds.
And I felt better.
Easter is coming. Alleluia.
I felt both virtuous and victorious.
For roughly 13 seconds.
Then I saw another worm, this time already dead.
Then another.
Then another.
And a sense of futility rolled over me; the parking lot was too big. I was surrounded by other parking lots. The city was full of parking lots and driveways and other surfaces all covered with suicidal worms awaiting destruction.
I couldn't possibly save them.
That's when the anger hit; what the heck is wrong with worms that they end up drowning on asphalt?
Where do they all come from?
Why do I feel guilty about them?
And then, as if in a Hallmark card commercial, silent violins began to play and I thought of birds.
Birds were the answer; every rainstorm is a gift to the birds.
And I felt better.
Easter is coming. Alleluia.
George MacDonald on Dying of Desire
From Phantastes:
"She was found, the next morning, dead beneath a withered tree on a bare hill-side, some miles inland. They buried her where she lay, as is their custom; for, before they die, they instinctively search for a spot like the place of their birth, and having found one that satisfies them, they lie down, fold their wings around them, if they be women, or cross their arms over their breasts, if they are men, just as if they were going to sleep; and so sleep indeed. The sign or cause of coming death is an indescribable longing for something, they know not what, which seizes them, and drives them into solitude, consuming them within, till the body fails. When a youth and a maiden look too deep into each other's eyes, this longing seizes and possesses them; but instead of drawing nearer to each other, they wander away, each alone, into solitary places, and die of their desire."
"She was found, the next morning, dead beneath a withered tree on a bare hill-side, some miles inland. They buried her where she lay, as is their custom; for, before they die, they instinctively search for a spot like the place of their birth, and having found one that satisfies them, they lie down, fold their wings around them, if they be women, or cross their arms over their breasts, if they are men, just as if they were going to sleep; and so sleep indeed. The sign or cause of coming death is an indescribable longing for something, they know not what, which seizes them, and drives them into solitude, consuming them within, till the body fails. When a youth and a maiden look too deep into each other's eyes, this longing seizes and possesses them; but instead of drawing nearer to each other, they wander away, each alone, into solitary places, and die of their desire."
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Foot washing revisited
Here's an article I wrote a few years ago on what is for me one of the most heart-wrenching services. Should have thought to reference it earlier in the day...
Instilling Humility: Maundy Thursday Foot Washing
Instilling Humility: Maundy Thursday Foot Washing
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
SquirrelTree
If not a dog named me
perhaps I can be
a creature near your window
perched in a tree
pretending not to notice
when you watch
and hoping you will join me
in the warmth of my nest.
--Chantelle Franc
perhaps I can be
a creature near your window
perched in a tree
pretending not to notice
when you watch
and hoping you will join me
in the warmth of my nest.
--Chantelle Franc
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Imaginatio divina
At my beloved priest's invitation, for a few weeks I have been practicing what I am calling imagiplation or imaginatio divina; the use of the imagination for experiencing God.
It has been an amazing adventure, one which I need to document in greater detail in future. For now I'll limit myself to telling you about His gift to me this morning.
I approach Him in a particular setting which He created for me, and I climb into His lap. Normally I cuddle in like a child. This morning however, I turned my face up to Him as a woman, not a child. He bent His head to meet me and we kissed a kiss of lovers at rest. And as we kissed, He began to blow His breath into me.
I entered His presence heavy of heart and mind. I left at peace and in wonder.
He is so very generous...
It has been an amazing adventure, one which I need to document in greater detail in future. For now I'll limit myself to telling you about His gift to me this morning.
I approach Him in a particular setting which He created for me, and I climb into His lap. Normally I cuddle in like a child. This morning however, I turned my face up to Him as a woman, not a child. He bent His head to meet me and we kissed a kiss of lovers at rest. And as we kissed, He began to blow His breath into me.
I entered His presence heavy of heart and mind. I left at peace and in wonder.
He is so very generous...
Monday, April 6, 2009
George MacDonald on Reflections
From Phantastes:
"Why are all reflections lovelier than what we call the reality? — not so grand or so strong, it may be, but always lovelier? ... All mirrors are magic mirrors. The commonest room is a room in a poem when I turn to the glass. ... In whatever way it may be accounted for, of one thing we may be sure, that this feeling is no cheat; for there is no cheating in nature and the simple unsought feelings of the soul. There must be a truth involved in it, though we may but in part lay hold of the meaning. Even the memories of past pain are beautiful; and past delights, though beheld only through clefts in the grey clouds of sorrow, are lovely as Fairy Land. But how have I wandered into the deeper fairyland of the soul, while as yet I only float towards the fairy palace of Fairy Land! The moon, which is the lovelier memory or reflex of the down-gone sun, the joyous day seen in the faint mirror of the brooding night, had rapt me away."
"Why are all reflections lovelier than what we call the reality? — not so grand or so strong, it may be, but always lovelier? ... All mirrors are magic mirrors. The commonest room is a room in a poem when I turn to the glass. ... In whatever way it may be accounted for, of one thing we may be sure, that this feeling is no cheat; for there is no cheating in nature and the simple unsought feelings of the soul. There must be a truth involved in it, though we may but in part lay hold of the meaning. Even the memories of past pain are beautiful; and past delights, though beheld only through clefts in the grey clouds of sorrow, are lovely as Fairy Land. But how have I wandered into the deeper fairyland of the soul, while as yet I only float towards the fairy palace of Fairy Land! The moon, which is the lovelier memory or reflex of the down-gone sun, the joyous day seen in the faint mirror of the brooding night, had rapt me away."
Sunday, April 5, 2009
St. Ambrose on Psalms
What is more pleasing than a psalm? A psalm is a blessing on the lips of the people, praise of God, the assembly's homage, a general acclamation, a word that speaks for all, the voice of the Church, a confession of faith in song.
-- Ambrose
-- Ambrose
Friday, April 3, 2009
Rehearsing goodby
I rehearse your goodbye
in my dreams
the one that moves you away
to lands unknown
and sporadic hollowness
becomes forever.
in my dreams
the one that moves you away
to lands unknown
and sporadic hollowness
becomes forever.
George MacDonald on Truth, Joy and Sorrow
From Phantastes:
"From this I was partly aroused by a glimmering of white, that, through the trees on the left, vaguely crossed my vision, as I gazed upwards. But the trees again hid the object; and at the moment, some strange melodious bird took up its song, and sang, not an ordinary bird-song, with constant repetitions of the same melody, but what sounded like a continuous strain, in which one thought was expressed, deepening in intensity as evolved in progress. It sounded like a welcome already overshadowed with the coming farewell. As in all sweetest music, a tinge of sadness was in every note. Nor do we know how much of the pleasures even of life we owe to the intermingled sorrows. Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy. Cometh white-robed Sorrow, stooping and wan, and flingeth wide the doors she may not enter. Almost we linger with Sorrow for very love."
"From this I was partly aroused by a glimmering of white, that, through the trees on the left, vaguely crossed my vision, as I gazed upwards. But the trees again hid the object; and at the moment, some strange melodious bird took up its song, and sang, not an ordinary bird-song, with constant repetitions of the same melody, but what sounded like a continuous strain, in which one thought was expressed, deepening in intensity as evolved in progress. It sounded like a welcome already overshadowed with the coming farewell. As in all sweetest music, a tinge of sadness was in every note. Nor do we know how much of the pleasures even of life we owe to the intermingled sorrows. Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy. Cometh white-robed Sorrow, stooping and wan, and flingeth wide the doors she may not enter. Almost we linger with Sorrow for very love."
Thursday, April 2, 2009
George MacDonald on Self-destructive beauty
This one reminds me of an old me.
From Phantastes by George MacDonald:
"...I am sure she would not look so beautiful if she did not take means to make herself look more beautiful than she is. And then, you know, you began by being in love with her before you saw her beauty, mistaking her for the lady of the marble--another kind altogether, I should think. But the chief thing that makes her beautiful is this: that, although she loves no man, she loves the love of any man, and when she finds one in her power, her desire to bewitch him and gain his love (not for the sake of his love either, but that she may be conscious anew of her own beauty, through the admiration he manifests), makes her very lovely--with a self-destructive beauty, though; for it is that which is constantly wearing her away within, till, at last, the decay will reach her face, and her whole front, when all the lovely mask of nothing will fall to pieces, and she be vanished for ever."
From Phantastes by George MacDonald:
"...I am sure she would not look so beautiful if she did not take means to make herself look more beautiful than she is. And then, you know, you began by being in love with her before you saw her beauty, mistaking her for the lady of the marble--another kind altogether, I should think. But the chief thing that makes her beautiful is this: that, although she loves no man, she loves the love of any man, and when she finds one in her power, her desire to bewitch him and gain his love (not for the sake of his love either, but that she may be conscious anew of her own beauty, through the admiration he manifests), makes her very lovely--with a self-destructive beauty, though; for it is that which is constantly wearing her away within, till, at last, the decay will reach her face, and her whole front, when all the lovely mask of nothing will fall to pieces, and she be vanished for ever."
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Man's best friend
I wish you had a dog named me
so that I could wait at home
and unleash my glee at seeing you
in a frenzied lashing of my tail
and you would stoop
to let me lick your face.
--Chantelle Franc
so that I could wait at home
and unleash my glee at seeing you
in a frenzied lashing of my tail
and you would stoop
to let me lick your face.
--Chantelle Franc
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Screwtape on Christ and pleasure (II)
From The Screwtape Letters:
I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula.
--C.S. Lewis
I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula.
--C.S. Lewis
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Screwtape on Christ and pleasure
From The Screwtape Letters, referring to Christ:
He’s a hedonist at heart. All those fasts and vigils and stakes and crosses are only a facade. Or only like foam on the seashore. Out at sea, out in His sea, there is pleasure, and more pleasure. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are ‘pleasures for evermore’. Ugh! I don’t think he has the least inkling of that high and austere mystery to which we rise in the Miserific Vision. He’s vulgar, Wormwood. He has a bourgeois mind. He has filled His world full of pleasures. There are things for humans to do all day long without His minding in the least — sleeping, washing, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, working. Everything has to be twisted before it’s any use to us. We fight under the cruel disadvantages. Nothing is naturally on our side.
--C.S. Lewis
Friday, March 27, 2009
St. Ignatius on souls wide open
From Letter of 18 July 1536:
"It happens sometimes that the Lord himself moves our souls and forces us, as it were, to this or that particular action by laying our souls wide open. This means that he begins to speak in the very depths of our being, without any clamour of words, he enraptures the soul completely into his love and bestows upon us an awareness of himself so that, even if we wished, we should be unable to resist."
--St. Ignatius
"It happens sometimes that the Lord himself moves our souls and forces us, as it were, to this or that particular action by laying our souls wide open. This means that he begins to speak in the very depths of our being, without any clamour of words, he enraptures the soul completely into his love and bestows upon us an awareness of himself so that, even if we wished, we should be unable to resist."
--St. Ignatius
Thursday, March 26, 2009
on "Twighlight"
I have not read nor seen the movie "Twilight", nor have I wanted to until reading the post below, which I stumbled upon a few minutes ago:
http://beautifulinexactly.wordpress.com/2009/03/25/ill-take-an-order-of-that-please-extra-hot/
Now I guess I'll have to.
http://beautifulinexactly.wordpress.com/2009/03/25/ill-take-an-order-of-that-please-extra-hot/
Now I guess I'll have to.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Pernicious schizophrenia
From: Ignatius the Theologian, Ch. 5 "The application of the Senses"
"A Christian person, in the full sense of what Ignatius was aiming at in the Spiritual Exercises, is one who has overcome the pernicious schizophrenia between soul and body, brain and heart, and thus become fully reintegrated--one who by means of prayer and assimilation to the incarnate Word has put right the 'ill-ordered attachments' of his soul and 'set his life in order'."
--Hugo Rahner, SJ
"A Christian person, in the full sense of what Ignatius was aiming at in the Spiritual Exercises, is one who has overcome the pernicious schizophrenia between soul and body, brain and heart, and thus become fully reintegrated--one who by means of prayer and assimilation to the incarnate Word has put right the 'ill-ordered attachments' of his soul and 'set his life in order'."
--Hugo Rahner, SJ
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Inexpressible
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley
-- Aldous Huxley
Monday, March 23, 2009
on the spiritual senses
"The spiritual senses are the effect of the three theological virtues. From constancy of faith comes the power to hear. From insight into faith comes the power of vision. From hope comes the power to smell. From union in love comes the power to touch. From the enjoyment of love comes the power to taste. This activation of the spiritual senses helps us receive ever greater graces. The helps of grace which Jesus Christ our Lord gives to those whom he loves. He who possesses them will know what this means."
--Jerome Nadal
--Jerome Nadal
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spiritual senses
Polanco was a disciple of Ignatius, and this is commentary from St. Ignatius' Application of the Senses:
Through it's longing for Christ, whom it desires to breathe in as the Word inviting us to the enjoyment of full union, it receives a spiritual sense of smell, so that it may walk in the fragrance of Christ's ointments: and thus Christ is its life. And finally, through the love which binds it to Christ the incarnate Word, it receives straight from him, even during this earthly pilgrimage, a sense of taste which enables it to taste how sweet the Lord is. And by embracing him in that pure love which transforms its very being, it receives a spiritual sense of touch."
Through it's longing for Christ, whom it desires to breathe in as the Word inviting us to the enjoyment of full union, it receives a spiritual sense of smell, so that it may walk in the fragrance of Christ's ointments: and thus Christ is its life. And finally, through the love which binds it to Christ the incarnate Word, it receives straight from him, even during this earthly pilgrimage, a sense of taste which enables it to taste how sweet the Lord is. And by embracing him in that pure love which transforms its very being, it receives a spiritual sense of touch."
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A hand not empty
It is amazing that an empty hand, stretched toward you, can contain so much comfort.
St. Bonaventure on inward senses
"And once they are attained the soul beholds Christ, hears him, becomes aware of him through his pleasant fragrance, savours him and embraces him. But this can be grasped only by him who receives this grace of prayer for this is less a matter of intellectual consideration than of loving experience. Thus at this stage of prayer the soul has now won back the interior senses, so that it may behold the supreme beauty, hear the supreme harmony, breathe in the supreme frangrance, savour the supreme sweeness and touch the supreme delight.""
(Itinerarium mentis in Deum cf. 4)
(Itinerarium mentis in Deum cf. 4)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
St. Augustine inflamed
"I have learnt to love you late, Beauty at once so ancient and so new! I have learnt to love you late! You were within me, and I was in the world outside myself. I searched for you outside myself and, disfigured as I was, I fell upon the lovely things of your creation. You were with me, but I was not with you. The beautiful things of this world kept me far from you and yet, if they had not been in you, they would have had no being at all. You called me; you cried aloud to me; you broke my barrier of deafness. You shone upon me; your radiance enveloped me; you put my blindness to flight; you shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I grasp your sweet odour, I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am inflamed with love of your peace."
(Confessions, X, 27)
(Confessions, X, 27)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Augustine on clinging to God's embrace
"But what do I love when I love my God? Not material beauty or beauty of a temporal order; not the brilliance of earthly light, so welcome to our eyes; not the sweet melody of harmony and song; not the fragrance of flowers, perfumes, and spices; not manna or honey; not limbs such as the body delights to embrace. It is not these that I love when I love my God. And yet, when I love him, it is true that I love a light of a certain kind, a voice, a perfume, a food, an embrace; but they are of the kind that I love in my inner self, when my soul is bathed in light that is not bound by space; when it listens to sound that never dies away; when it breathes fragrance that is not borne away on the wind; when it tastes food that is never consumed by the eating; when it clings to an embrace from which it is not severed by fulfillment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God."
(Confessions, X, 6)
(Confessions, X, 6)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Intimate kisses
Isn't it strange that after Mary's lovemaking of Jesus' feet, the second most intimate act initiated by man in the Gospels was Judas' kiss?
on reunion with the beloved
I've been reading a variety of classic and newer fantasy fiction as a form of enjoyable research re. the concept of sanctified imagination.
The most current read is the 3rd in Christopher Paolini's Eragon series (titled Brisingr), at the center of which is the relationship between dragon (Saphira) and rider (Eragon). The following is a passage describing a reunion between these two:
"Redoubling his speed, Eragon opened his mind to Saphira, removing every barrier around who he was, so that they might join together without reservation. Like a flood of warm water, her consciousness rushed into him, even as his rushed into her. Eragon gasped and tripped and nearly fell. They enveloped each other within the folds of their thoughts, holding each other with an intimacy no physical embrace could replicate, allowing their identities to merge once again. Their greatest comfort was a simple one: they were no longer alone. To know that you were with one who cared for you, and who understood every fiber of your being, and who would not abandon you in even the most desperate of circumstances, that was the most precious relationship a person could have, and both Eragon and Saphira cherished it."
The most current read is the 3rd in Christopher Paolini's Eragon series (titled Brisingr), at the center of which is the relationship between dragon (Saphira) and rider (Eragon). The following is a passage describing a reunion between these two:
"Redoubling his speed, Eragon opened his mind to Saphira, removing every barrier around who he was, so that they might join together without reservation. Like a flood of warm water, her consciousness rushed into him, even as his rushed into her. Eragon gasped and tripped and nearly fell. They enveloped each other within the folds of their thoughts, holding each other with an intimacy no physical embrace could replicate, allowing their identities to merge once again. Their greatest comfort was a simple one: they were no longer alone. To know that you were with one who cared for you, and who understood every fiber of your being, and who would not abandon you in even the most desperate of circumstances, that was the most precious relationship a person could have, and both Eragon and Saphira cherished it."
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Our desire for the beautiful
This is a quote which was included in an article I recently linked, but important enough that I thought is should also stand alone.
From The Life of Moses:
And so every desire for the Beautiful which draws us on in this ascent is intensified by the soul’s very progress towards it. And this is the real meaning of seeing God: never to have this desire satisfied. But fixing our eyes on those things which help us to see, we must ever keep alive in us the desire to see more and more. And so no limit can be set to our progress towards God: first of all, because no limitation can be put on upon the Beautiful, and secondly because the increase in our desire for the Beautiful cannot be stopped by any sense of satisfaction.
--St. Gregory of Nyssa
From The Life of Moses:
And so every desire for the Beautiful which draws us on in this ascent is intensified by the soul’s very progress towards it. And this is the real meaning of seeing God: never to have this desire satisfied. But fixing our eyes on those things which help us to see, we must ever keep alive in us the desire to see more and more. And so no limit can be set to our progress towards God: first of all, because no limitation can be put on upon the Beautiful, and secondly because the increase in our desire for the Beautiful cannot be stopped by any sense of satisfaction.
--St. Gregory of Nyssa
Friday, March 13, 2009
The feet of the master
He whispered more to me about Mary's act of love and my yearning to stand in her place.
He whispered that I could give this gift to Him through my husband.
Lord make me obedient.
He whispered that I could give this gift to Him through my husband.
Lord make me obedient.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Model for Holy Thursday?
As I stood in prayer before the tabernacle last night, my hands on either side of my face, feeling the texture of the carving, I wanted only to be pressed up against Him directly.
My mind went again to the sinful women who came to the house of the leper in order to bathe Jesus' feet with her tears. The Gospels speak of no other person having such intimate contact with Him.
I so identify with this woman, this sinful one, this sensualist. I wonder if her sensuality, like David's, gave her special entree to God's heart. Does He especially love those who incarnate love, albeit rashly?
As I prayed, I wondered.
I wondered if it is possible for we created ones to give God Himself ideas for expressing love. Jesus accepted her lavishing and praised it, then went on to wash the feet of His twelve.
Could she have been the inspiration?
Was she the model He followed?
My mind went again to the sinful women who came to the house of the leper in order to bathe Jesus' feet with her tears. The Gospels speak of no other person having such intimate contact with Him.
I so identify with this woman, this sinful one, this sensualist. I wonder if her sensuality, like David's, gave her special entree to God's heart. Does He especially love those who incarnate love, albeit rashly?
As I prayed, I wondered.
I wondered if it is possible for we created ones to give God Himself ideas for expressing love. Jesus accepted her lavishing and praised it, then went on to wash the feet of His twelve.
Could she have been the inspiration?
Was she the model He followed?
A gift of caretaking
Thank you Lord for your priests.
I am so blessed by the Father you have sent my congregation. Yesterday, when he knew that I would be coming to spend time in the sanctuary in grief and supplication, he prepared it for me. He lit candles, incensed it with the prayers of the saints, and filled it with Vivaldi's violins singing the seasons.
Our tabernacle is set in the wall behind the altar, fronted with a wooden door that is carved and gilded with chalice and host. I spent an hour immediately before it, my face pressed against the wood as the tears flowed.
The sorrowful mysteries brought great peace, as did a MacDonald passage he later read to me.
I left better prepared.
It was a great gift to have such care taken over me.
A great gift.
I am so blessed by the Father you have sent my congregation. Yesterday, when he knew that I would be coming to spend time in the sanctuary in grief and supplication, he prepared it for me. He lit candles, incensed it with the prayers of the saints, and filled it with Vivaldi's violins singing the seasons.
Our tabernacle is set in the wall behind the altar, fronted with a wooden door that is carved and gilded with chalice and host. I spent an hour immediately before it, my face pressed against the wood as the tears flowed.
The sorrowful mysteries brought great peace, as did a MacDonald passage he later read to me.
I left better prepared.
It was a great gift to have such care taken over me.
A great gift.
Ahh, Lent (II)
Scripture tells us that the Father disciplines those He loves.
I am apparently very much loved, indeed.
I am apparently very much loved, indeed.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Becoming a dewdrop
I've stolen this lovely phrase from my friend Pranayama mama's recent post:
"I want to become like a dewdrop that reflects the entire moon."
"I want to become like a dewdrop that reflects the entire moon."
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
On the journey of desire
Here is a lovely article on my favorite topic:
http://marshmk.wordpress.com/2009/03/09/feast-of-st-gregory-of-nyssa/
http://marshmk.wordpress.com/2009/03/09/feast-of-st-gregory-of-nyssa/
Monday, March 9, 2009
Give me wisdom
Ah Lent...
It appears that this year's Lenten torture may be revelation about the ways in which I make a poor wife. The completion of which rests on my shoulders to seek out.
To say that I am not looking forward to it is an understatement.
However, this morning's devotional reading delivered Jeremiah 1:11-19, with commentary that included:
"If God reveals something to you, ask for his wisdom to know how to deliver the message. Be assured of his strong protection as you go on his errand."
And so I am in prayer, asking for His wisdom, and thanking Him for His protection.
It appears that this year's Lenten torture may be revelation about the ways in which I make a poor wife. The completion of which rests on my shoulders to seek out.
To say that I am not looking forward to it is an understatement.
However, this morning's devotional reading delivered Jeremiah 1:11-19, with commentary that included:
"If God reveals something to you, ask for his wisdom to know how to deliver the message. Be assured of his strong protection as you go on his errand."
And so I am in prayer, asking for His wisdom, and thanking Him for His protection.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Filled to silence
Sometimes I am so full of words that the only possible response to you is silence.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
More on sex
Stripping sexuality of it's sacredness and treating it as recreation is like using a Maserati for offroading.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Question du jour: on Gluttony
Is it gluttonous to desire more time with one you love than what you get?
My mission field
After catechizing yesterday in my women's group on the sacraments of baptism and confession, it occurred to me that I need to better prepare my answer to the inevitable question:
"So why aren't you Roman Catholic?"
Luckily the answer came while making dinner last night: my current church is my mission field.
From within it I am helping repair the reformation rift, by equipping others to restore the beauty of the sacraments to the church from which they have been stolen.
It is a good answer. I am content.
"So why aren't you Roman Catholic?"
Luckily the answer came while making dinner last night: my current church is my mission field.
From within it I am helping repair the reformation rift, by equipping others to restore the beauty of the sacraments to the church from which they have been stolen.
It is a good answer. I am content.
After His heart
I've been thinking more about my sanctimonious twerpishness, and affirmed that it is indeed true.
I'm an obnoxious little teacher's pet who I would imagine is easy to hate.
In the face of this reality, it is a comfort to remember that He told me I am David, and like David, I am after God's heart.
I am -after- it.
I am filled with zeal for my Father's house. His teaching is my delight.
And I pray that my striving is pleasing to Him who I do so hope to please.
I'm an obnoxious little teacher's pet who I would imagine is easy to hate.
In the face of this reality, it is a comfort to remember that He told me I am David, and like David, I am after God's heart.
I am -after- it.
I am filled with zeal for my Father's house. His teaching is my delight.
And I pray that my striving is pleasing to Him who I do so hope to please.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Ahh, the Lenten discovery continues...
I made an ugly discovery today.
Turns out I'm an obnoxiously sanctimonious little twerp.
(Except I'd substitute another word for twerp. And I'm not that little.)
Turns out I'm an obnoxiously sanctimonious little twerp.
(Except I'd substitute another word for twerp. And I'm not that little.)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Passionate encounter
This morning God talked to me about the kind of love affair he wants me to have with him. He wanted me to know that it should be passionate.
I thought whine-ily, in response:
I thought whine-ily, in response:
"But I've never encountered you physically".To which he replied:
"Oh, you haven't?"
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Becoming like Him
The steady discipline of intimate friendship with Jesus results in men becoming like Him.
-- H. E. Fosdick
-- H. E. Fosdick
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Construction vs Creation
“The whole difference between a construction and a creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists.”
--G.K. Chesterton
--G.K. Chesterton
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tales more beautiful and amazing
"It involves us in all kinds of difficulties in which human ingenuity, unable to discover or imagine a way out, realizes its own feebleness and finds itself at a loss and confounded. It is then that God's purpose is manifest in all its radiance, rescuing souls more miraculously than any writer of fantastic tales, who, straining every effort of his imagination in the seclusion of his study, unravels the intrigues and perils of his imaginary heroes and always brings their adventures to a happy conclusion. It leads souls far more ingeniously past mortal perils, past monster, hell-fire, demons and their snares and carries them up to heaven. All are the subject of mystical tales far more beautiful and amazing than any invented by the crude imagination of mortal man."
page 24 of "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean Pierre de Caussade
page 24 of "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean Pierre de Caussade
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The road to contentment
If I had a car
and pulled up next to you
would you hop in
and let me drive
God knows where?
I wouldn't care
as long as you were with me
the open road
promising miles of you
and quiet contentment.
and pulled up next to you
would you hop in
and let me drive
God knows where?
I wouldn't care
as long as you were with me
the open road
promising miles of you
and quiet contentment.
Friday, February 20, 2009
On prayer for the dead
A formerly Baptist friend asked me about the Catholic practice of praying for the dead. I passed along some info on this ancient Jewish and Christian practice, but concluded with the following, describing the concept of being saved as by fire as St. Paul educates us.
I have a vision of this state of purification as being in his presence but at a distance because the heat and light are too great. And as my attachment to sin is burned away I am able to move closer and closer and closer until I can stand before him, face to face. That process of purgation, of being saved as by fire, is a stage of heaven, one of the rooms in his mansion. The heat of his light and love are the fire which purifies. And the pain of the purification process is the pain of the distance which remains, until that distance is no more.
I just adore the concept of purgatory; it is so very beautiful.
I have a vision of this state of purification as being in his presence but at a distance because the heat and light are too great. And as my attachment to sin is burned away I am able to move closer and closer and closer until I can stand before him, face to face. That process of purgation, of being saved as by fire, is a stage of heaven, one of the rooms in his mansion. The heat of his light and love are the fire which purifies. And the pain of the purification process is the pain of the distance which remains, until that distance is no more.
I just adore the concept of purgatory; it is so very beautiful.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Crazy with Desire
I need to look at more Sufi poetry:
Tonight I am crazy,
crazy with desire for You.
This impassioned heart of mine
overflows with longing for You
http://ryanbeggar.blogspot.com/2009/02/sufi-poems-four.html
Tonight I am crazy,
crazy with desire for You.
This impassioned heart of mine
overflows with longing for You
http://ryanbeggar.blogspot.com/2009/02/sufi-poems-four.html
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Perversion of the magnificent
While driving into the city today I went past a large billboard right next to the inner loop. As usual, it displayed an ad for our area's most prosperous porn shop. As porn shop ads go, these are usually pretty tame. This time it said something about going red for valentines day, with a picture of a provocative red head.
And I thought to myself "ewww."
Then I wondered, why "ewww"?
And I realized that we -should- react to pornography the way we react to a plate full of rotten meat, crawling with maggots. Pornography takes something which is whole and beautiful and full of God's grace, and twists it and destroys it and turns it into something prurient.
Pornography perverts the magnificent.
Ewww indeed.
And I thought to myself "ewww."
Then I wondered, why "ewww"?
And I realized that we -should- react to pornography the way we react to a plate full of rotten meat, crawling with maggots. Pornography takes something which is whole and beautiful and full of God's grace, and twists it and destroys it and turns it into something prurient.
Pornography perverts the magnificent.
Ewww indeed.
Love transcends human sense and reason
Love transcends all the human Sense and Reason can reach to.
-- Jacob Boehme
-- Jacob Boehme
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
How to read a love letter
A friend forwarded this to me today, from some sort of devotional email list. It connects to a discussion in my women's group this morning.
"Mortimer J. Adler in his classic How to Read A Book makes this insightful observation. "The one time people read for all they are worth is when they are in love and are reading a letter from their beloved." Adler goes on to say that folks read love letters by analyzing every word. They even read between the lines and the margins. The whole is read in terms of the parts, and each part in terms of the whole. The reader becomes sensitive to context and ambiguity, to insinuation and implication. When reading a love letter there is an acute awareness of the color of the words, the order of phrases, and the weight of sentences. Punctuation is taken into account and the imagination is aroused. If never before, or after, each precious word of the letter is read carefully and in depth.
Drawing on Adler's comments, the New York Times published a review for How to Read A Book under the heading, "How to Read a Love Letter." The reviewer noted that when we read a letter from our beloved, it is read so thoroughly and with so many questions, that soon the reader can quote the content by heart. And, in fact, does so—to him- or herself—for weeks to come. The review ended with the conclusion that if people read books with anything approaching the same concentration and zeal, we'd be a race of mental giants!
Using Adler's words and the New York Times review, ponder for a moment what would happen if we read the Bible—God's perpetual love letter to His beloved—with the same zeal! We would indeed be a race of "spiritual giants," mature in our faith and able to withstand the wiles of the enemy. With God's Word hidden in our hearts and echoing in our mind, there would be no room left for Satan to inject doubts and fears! Answers to life's questions and perplexities would come easily. Our prayers would be powerful and effective. All of nature would become our classroom. We would walk in harmony with God and enjoy the intimate fellowship with Him for which we were created.
Now ask yourself another question: when was the last time you read the Bible as if it were a precious love letter? When reading Scripture do you hang on every word and read between the lines and margins? Have you seen the whole in terms of the parts and the parts in terms of the whole? Do the words take on colors and arouse your imagination? Or is Scripture reading just another obligation you must fulfill before you go about the busyness of your life, unaffected by the precious words you gulped down rather than savored and allowed to permeate every fiber of your being? Jeremiah tells us that God's words are to be our joy and our heart's delight.
Today I invite you to read God's word with the heart of a lover. Learn to delight in your beloved because He delights in you and invites you to enjoy Him forever."
When your words came, I ate them;
They were my joy and my heart's delight,
For I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty.
Jeremiah 15:16
They were my joy and my heart's delight,
For I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty.
Jeremiah 15:16
"Mortimer J. Adler in his classic How to Read A Book makes this insightful observation. "The one time people read for all they are worth is when they are in love and are reading a letter from their beloved." Adler goes on to say that folks read love letters by analyzing every word. They even read between the lines and the margins. The whole is read in terms of the parts, and each part in terms of the whole. The reader becomes sensitive to context and ambiguity, to insinuation and implication. When reading a love letter there is an acute awareness of the color of the words, the order of phrases, and the weight of sentences. Punctuation is taken into account and the imagination is aroused. If never before, or after, each precious word of the letter is read carefully and in depth.
Drawing on Adler's comments, the New York Times published a review for How to Read A Book under the heading, "How to Read a Love Letter." The reviewer noted that when we read a letter from our beloved, it is read so thoroughly and with so many questions, that soon the reader can quote the content by heart. And, in fact, does so—to him- or herself—for weeks to come. The review ended with the conclusion that if people read books with anything approaching the same concentration and zeal, we'd be a race of mental giants!
Using Adler's words and the New York Times review, ponder for a moment what would happen if we read the Bible—God's perpetual love letter to His beloved—with the same zeal! We would indeed be a race of "spiritual giants," mature in our faith and able to withstand the wiles of the enemy. With God's Word hidden in our hearts and echoing in our mind, there would be no room left for Satan to inject doubts and fears! Answers to life's questions and perplexities would come easily. Our prayers would be powerful and effective. All of nature would become our classroom. We would walk in harmony with God and enjoy the intimate fellowship with Him for which we were created.
Now ask yourself another question: when was the last time you read the Bible as if it were a precious love letter? When reading Scripture do you hang on every word and read between the lines and margins? Have you seen the whole in terms of the parts and the parts in terms of the whole? Do the words take on colors and arouse your imagination? Or is Scripture reading just another obligation you must fulfill before you go about the busyness of your life, unaffected by the precious words you gulped down rather than savored and allowed to permeate every fiber of your being? Jeremiah tells us that God's words are to be our joy and our heart's delight.
Today I invite you to read God's word with the heart of a lover. Learn to delight in your beloved because He delights in you and invites you to enjoy Him forever."
Chesterton on religion
"Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair."
--Gilbert K. Chesterton
--Gilbert K. Chesterton
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sole Deep
In a moment of magic I was with you.
You were in me, and I surrounded you.
Music played and we danced
as if time were a fiction.
Now I am empty, and waiting
carried from place to place
in hope that the right door will be opened
and you will be there
to step into me; sole-deep
companion of my heart.
--Chantelle Franc
You were in me, and I surrounded you.
Music played and we danced
as if time were a fiction.
Now I am empty, and waiting
carried from place to place
in hope that the right door will be opened
and you will be there
to step into me; sole-deep
companion of my heart.
--Chantelle Franc
Poetry for Valentines Day (I)
Longing
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me.
Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth.
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say My love! why sufferest thou?
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
--by Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me.
Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth.
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say My love! why sufferest thou?
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
--by Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)
Poetry for Valentines Day (II)
Love's Philosophy
The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;--
Why not I with thine?
See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained it's brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;--
Why not I with thine?
See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained it's brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Chesterton on absurd happiness
Jesus promised his disciples three things - that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy and in constant trouble.
-- G. K. Chesterton
-- G. K. Chesterton
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Broken Heart
He is stark mad, whoever says,
That he hath been in love an hour,
Yet not that love so soon decays,
But that it can ten in less space devour;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should say
I saw a flash of powder burn a day?
Ah, what a trifle is a heart,
If once into love's hands it come!
All other griefs allow a part
To other griefs, and ask themselves but some;
They come to us, but us love draws;
He swallows us and never chaws;
By him, as by chain'd shot, whole ranks do die;
He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.
If 'twere not so, what did become
Of my heart when I first saw thee?
I brought a heart into the room,
But from the room I carried none with me.
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thine heart to show
More pity unto me; but Love, alas!
At one first blow did shiver it as glass.
Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any place be empty quite;
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those pieces still, though they be not unite;
And now, as broken glasses show
A hundred lesser faces, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
But after one such love, can love no more.
--John Donne
That he hath been in love an hour,
Yet not that love so soon decays,
But that it can ten in less space devour;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should say
I saw a flash of powder burn a day?
Ah, what a trifle is a heart,
If once into love's hands it come!
All other griefs allow a part
To other griefs, and ask themselves but some;
They come to us, but us love draws;
He swallows us and never chaws;
By him, as by chain'd shot, whole ranks do die;
He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.
If 'twere not so, what did become
Of my heart when I first saw thee?
I brought a heart into the room,
But from the room I carried none with me.
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thine heart to show
More pity unto me; but Love, alas!
At one first blow did shiver it as glass.
Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any place be empty quite;
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those pieces still, though they be not unite;
And now, as broken glasses show
A hundred lesser faces, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
But after one such love, can love no more.
--John Donne
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Love beyond this life
The rationalist lusts after sexual power, but the heavenly lover loves beyond this life for his beloved.
--Fr. Robert Dalgleish
--Fr. Robert Dalgleish
Monday, February 9, 2009
Dazzling, radiant, pulsating
From Beyond Smells and Bells by Mark Galli:
"I believe--and it has been my experience--that ongoing participation in the liturgy is ongoing participation in the life of God, and, as such, will lead, as C.S. Lewis envisions human transformation, to a life 'dazzling, radiant... pulsating all through with... energy, joy, and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine.'"
"I believe--and it has been my experience--that ongoing participation in the liturgy is ongoing participation in the life of God, and, as such, will lead, as C.S. Lewis envisions human transformation, to a life 'dazzling, radiant... pulsating all through with... energy, joy, and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine.'"
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God
Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
--John Donne
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
--John Donne
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Thirst for happiness and meaning
There is within every soul a thirst for happiness and meaning.
-- Thomas Aquinas
-- Thomas Aquinas
Friday, February 6, 2009
Every creature a divine word
Every creature is a divine word because it proclaims God.
-- St. Bonaventure
-- St. Bonaventure
Obedience is the stairway of pleasure
From That Hideous Strength:
"The beauty of the female is the root of joy to the female as well as to the male, and it is no accident that the goddess of love is older and stronger then the god. To desire the desiring of her own beauty is the vanity of Lilith, but to desire the enjoying of her beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes her own delightfulness. As obedience is the stairway of pleasure, so humility is the..."
--C. S. Lewis
Ed: Interesting how this quote within a quote was interrupted...
"The beauty of the female is the root of joy to the female as well as to the male, and it is no accident that the goddess of love is older and stronger then the god. To desire the desiring of her own beauty is the vanity of Lilith, but to desire the enjoying of her beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes her own delightfulness. As obedience is the stairway of pleasure, so humility is the..."
--C. S. Lewis
Ed: Interesting how this quote within a quote was interrupted...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A feast of rich food: Isaiah 25:6
On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
Comment on suffering from a book discussion board
Suffering is experiencing limits placed upon Truth.
Mother Teresa on longing for God
There is so much contradiction in my soul.--Such deep longing for God--so deep that it is painful--a suffering continual--and yet not wanted by God--repulsed--empty--no faith--no love--no zeal.--Souls hold no attraction--Heaven means nothing--to me it looks like an empty place--the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God.--Pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His--so he has every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God....
(Blessed Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, pp 169-170)
(Blessed Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, pp 169-170)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I have His darkness
I am not alone.--I have His darkness--I have His pain--I have the terrible longing for God--to love and not to be loved. I know I have Jesus--in that unbroken union--for my mind is fixed on Him and in Him alone, in my will.
(Blessed Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, p 223)
(Blessed Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, p 223)
Monday, February 2, 2009
When at last I cling to you
When at last I cling to you with my whole being there will be no more anguish or labour for me, and my life will be alive indeed, alive because filled with you. But now it is very different. Anyone whom you fill you also uplift; but I am not full of you, and so I am a burden to myself. Joys over which I ought to weep do battle with sorrows that should be matter for joy, and I do not know which will be victorious. But I also see griefs that are evil at war in me with joys that are good, and I do not know which will win the day.
(St Augustine, Confessions, Book 10)
(St Augustine, Confessions, Book 10)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Body and blood reunited
I was thinking about Christ on the cross, the paschal lamb, the perfect sacrifice; how his body and blood were separated just as it is when kosher meats are prepared.
And I realized that when we receive the Eucharist, his body and blood are joined back together, reunited, made one, as we become one with him.
And I realized that when we receive the Eucharist, his body and blood are joined back together, reunited, made one, as we become one with him.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Biblical passages on desire
Just stumbled across a worksheet for a class presented by Randy Alcorn of Eternal Perspectives Ministries (EPM) which I'm going to check out. It contains a list of Bible passages on the idea of desire. (Ed. Note: I don't know anything about EPM, and haven't checked out the site other than this worksheet, and I am therefore not endorsing the author, the organization, or the site.)
Here is part of the introductory text of the document:
"The purpose of this assignment is to see in overview what the Bible says about desire... I've selected passages containing English words such as desire, long, want, wish, yearn, thirst, tempt and crave. There are nearly a thousand such passages, translating dozens of Hebrew and Greek words. This list is only a sampling, perhaps 20% of the passages which could be included."
1Corinthians 12:31; 14:1
2Corinthians 5:1-4
2Corinthians 7:7
2Corinthians 8:10
2Corinthians 8:13
Galatians 1:10
Galatians 5:16-26 (esp. vv. 16-17, 24)
Galatians 5:17
Galatians 5:24
Ephesians 2:1-10 (esp. v. 3)
Ephesians 4:22
Philippians 1:23
Philippians 3:6-14
Colossians 3:5-10 (esp. v.5)
1 Thessalonians 2:17-20
1 Timothy 2:4
1 Timothy 3:1
1 Timothy 5:11-12
1 Timothy 6:9
2 Timothy 2:22
2 Timothy 3:12
2 Timothy 4:3
Titus 2:11-14
Titus 3:3-5
Hebrews 2:17-18
Hebrews 4:14-16
Hebrews 10:5, 8
Hebrews 11:13-16
Hebrews 13:18
James 1:13-15
James 1:20
James 4:1-4
1Peter 1:11-12
1Peter 1:13-14
1Peter 2:2-3
1Peter 2:11
1Peter 4:2-5
2Peter 1:4
2Peter 2:18-19
2Peter 3:3
1John 2:16-17
Revelation 21:1-6
Revelation 22:1-4
Revelation 22:17
by Randy Alcorn, Eternal Perspective Ministries, 39085 Pioneer Blvd., Suite 206, Sandy, OR 97055, 503-668-5200, www.epm.org, www.randyalcorn.blogspot.com
Here is part of the introductory text of the document:
"The purpose of this assignment is to see in overview what the Bible says about desire... I've selected passages containing English words such as desire, long, want, wish, yearn, thirst, tempt and crave. There are nearly a thousand such passages, translating dozens of Hebrew and Greek words. This list is only a sampling, perhaps 20% of the passages which could be included."
1Corinthians 12:31; 14:1
2Corinthians 5:1-4
2Corinthians 7:7
2Corinthians 8:10
2Corinthians 8:13
Galatians 1:10
Galatians 5:16-26 (esp. vv. 16-17, 24)
Galatians 5:17
Galatians 5:24
Ephesians 2:1-10 (esp. v. 3)
Ephesians 4:22
Philippians 1:23
Philippians 3:6-14
Colossians 3:5-10 (esp. v.5)
1 Thessalonians 2:17-20
1 Timothy 2:4
1 Timothy 3:1
1 Timothy 5:11-12
1 Timothy 6:9
2 Timothy 2:22
2 Timothy 3:12
2 Timothy 4:3
Titus 2:11-14
Titus 3:3-5
Hebrews 2:17-18
Hebrews 4:14-16
Hebrews 10:5, 8
Hebrews 11:13-16
Hebrews 13:18
James 1:13-15
James 1:20
James 4:1-4
1Peter 1:11-12
1Peter 1:13-14
1Peter 2:2-3
1Peter 2:11
1Peter 4:2-5
2Peter 1:4
2Peter 2:18-19
2Peter 3:3
1John 2:16-17
Revelation 21:1-6
Revelation 22:1-4
Revelation 22:17
by Randy Alcorn, Eternal Perspective Ministries, 39085 Pioneer Blvd., Suite 206, Sandy, OR 97055, 503-668-5200, www.epm.org, www.randyalcorn.blogspot.com
Thursday, January 29, 2009
You made us for yourself
"The thought of you stirs him so deeply that he cannot be content unless he praises you, because you made us for yourself and our hearts find no peace until they rest in you"
--St. Augustine
--St. Augustine
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
An inconvenient hotel
The most miserable earthly life, seen from the perspective of heaven, looks like one night in an inconvenient hotel.
--Teresa of Avila
--Teresa of Avila
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The world is a great inn
The world rings changes, it is never constant but in its disappointments. The world is but a great inn, where we are to stay a night or two, and be gone; what madness is it so to set our heart upon our inn, as to forget our home?
-- Thomas Watson
-- Thomas Watson
Monday, January 26, 2009
How beautiful the leaves
How beautiful the leaves grow old,
how full of light and color are their last days.
--John Burroughs
how full of light and color are their last days.
--John Burroughs
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Prayer to a Shepherd King
I thought I had posted this several months ago, but did not.
Prayer to a Shepherd King
(Fr. Robert Dalgleish)
Your eyes find me
know me
search me
reveal me
disarm me
unclothe me
love me
delight in me
cherish me
comfort me
calm me.
Call me
draw me
entice me closer to you
my beloved Shepherd
my sovereign King!
How do I remember you?
How do I not forget about you
in the busyness of my life?
Ah; To listen for your whisperings,
to look for your revealings
to sense your appearings.
O Lord, forgive me.
I am so slow of mind and hard of heart.
Renew my mind
renew my heart
draw me anew to you
awaken my love for you
so that my very heart's yearnings
will awaken me to your callings.
O Lord, may this New Year
be one in which I look for
and find you
again and again
every day.
Amen
Prayer to a Shepherd King
(Fr. Robert Dalgleish)
Your eyes find me
know me
search me
reveal me
disarm me
unclothe me
love me
delight in me
cherish me
comfort me
calm me.
Call me
draw me
entice me closer to you
my beloved Shepherd
my sovereign King!
How do I remember you?
How do I not forget about you
in the busyness of my life?
Ah; To listen for your whisperings,
to look for your revealings
to sense your appearings.
O Lord, forgive me.
I am so slow of mind and hard of heart.
Renew my mind
renew my heart
draw me anew to you
awaken my love for you
so that my very heart's yearnings
will awaken me to your callings.
O Lord, may this New Year
be one in which I look for
and find you
again and again
every day.
Amen
Friday, January 23, 2009
April
From The Wasteland:
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
--T.S. Eliot
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
--T.S. Eliot
Thursday, January 22, 2009
There is no other stream
From The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis:
“If you’re thirsty, you may drink.”
For a second she stared here and there, wondering who had spoken. Then the voice said again, “If you are thirsty, come and drink,” and of course she remembered what Scrubb had said about animals talking in that other world, and realized that it was the lion speaking. Anyway, she had seen its lips move this time and the voice was not like a man’s. It was deeper, wilder, and stronger; a sort of heavy, golden voice. It did not make her any less frightened than she had been before, but it made her frightened in rather a different way.
“Are you not thirsty?” said the Lion. “I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill. “Then drink,” said the Lion. “May I -- could I-- would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill. The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic. “Will you promise not to--do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill. “I make no promise,” said the Lion. Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer. “Do you eat girls?” she said. “I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the Lion. It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
“I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill. “Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion. “Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer. “I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”
“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.
“It never occurred to Jill to disbelieve the Lion-- no one who had seen his stern face could do that--and her mind suddenly made itself up. It was the worst thing she had ever had to do, but she went forward to the stream, knelt down and began scooping up water in her hand. It was the coldest, most refreshing water she had ever tasted. You didn’t need to drink much of it, for it quenched your thirst at once. Before she tasted it she had been intending to make a dash away from the Lion the moment she had finished. Now, she realized that this would be on the whole the most dangerous thing of all.”
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Seeking rest in trivial things
This is the reason why we have no ease of heart or soul, for we are seeking our rest in trivial things that cannot satisfy, and not seeking to know God, almighty, all-wise, all good. He is true rest. It is his will that we should know him, and his pleasure that we should rest in him. Nothing less will satisfy us.
--Julian of Norwich
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A web of words
I want to spin a web of words
to draw you in
and wrap you in gauzy strands
a silvery cocoon of thought
not to eat you
but to keep you by my side
as I sit and weave.
--Chantelle Franc
to draw you in
and wrap you in gauzy strands
a silvery cocoon of thought
not to eat you
but to keep you by my side
as I sit and weave.
--Chantelle Franc
Friday, January 16, 2009
Play is not enough
No one who really wants to count for God can afford to play at Christianity.
-- H. A. Ironside
-- H. A. Ironside
Thursday, January 15, 2009
On Cabbages and Pigs
From The Baptism of Imagination: A conversation with Peter Kreeft:
"Well, the cabbages-and-pigs image recalls John Stuart Mill's statement. He said it is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied. So, if you go to a counselor to overcome your dissatisfaction and exchange it for satisfaction, I think that can be very foolish. There's a good satisfaction and a bad satisfaction, a good dissatisfaction and a bad dissatisfaction. If you have a lover's quarrel with the world because you have been taught to expect happiness from this world yet you haven't found it and don't know why, that's a very good dissatisfaction. If a counselor throws cold water on the fire of that discontent, great harm is done. It's worth having the bad discontent in order to preserve the good discontent, which is the search for God. I think discontent is the second best thing in the world, because it brings us to God."
.
.
.
"One of the reasons Christians are generally happier than nonbelievers is that they don't expect so much of the world. They look at the world as a gymnasium, or a training ground, or, if they are terribly pessimistic, as a prison. The world can be a wonderful barracks, a fantastic motel, but it's a lousy home."
"Well, the cabbages-and-pigs image recalls John Stuart Mill's statement. He said it is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied. So, if you go to a counselor to overcome your dissatisfaction and exchange it for satisfaction, I think that can be very foolish. There's a good satisfaction and a bad satisfaction, a good dissatisfaction and a bad dissatisfaction. If you have a lover's quarrel with the world because you have been taught to expect happiness from this world yet you haven't found it and don't know why, that's a very good dissatisfaction. If a counselor throws cold water on the fire of that discontent, great harm is done. It's worth having the bad discontent in order to preserve the good discontent, which is the search for God. I think discontent is the second best thing in the world, because it brings us to God."
.
.
.
"One of the reasons Christians are generally happier than nonbelievers is that they don't expect so much of the world. They look at the world as a gymnasium, or a training ground, or, if they are terribly pessimistic, as a prison. The world can be a wonderful barracks, a fantastic motel, but it's a lousy home."
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
From The Baptism of Imagination: A conversation with Peter Kreeft:
"Faith and hope and love all have a moreness to them. Faith means I trust you more than I can prove, hope means I hope for more than I can attain and grasp, and love means there is more in you than I can possibly love worthily."
"Faith and hope and love all have a moreness to them. Faith means I trust you more than I can prove, hope means I hope for more than I can attain and grasp, and love means there is more in you than I can possibly love worthily."
Choice
I'd always thought that "choice" was a rather cowardly way to refer to something as seismic as abortion, but recently realized that it's actually a very appropriate term. All of life's nobility and destruction hinge on choice.
Despite God's direction, we chose to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and continue to choose it today. The choice between self donation or self preservation is ever before us.
We are all called to choose, and the choices are very, very hard.
Despite God's direction, we chose to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and continue to choose it today. The choice between self donation or self preservation is ever before us.
We are all called to choose, and the choices are very, very hard.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Blessed are women
Three of my friends are expecting, and so I've been thinking about babies and loving God.
We are so very blessed to be women. In bearing new life, we are given a very special way in which to contemplate love of God. We can ponder Mary holding her precious son, and put ourselves in her place, transferring the intensity of love we felt for our own new child to this one, who is Lord of All.
Women can explore love of Him in ways which men cannot.
It is a very great gift. We are so very blessed.
We are so very blessed to be women. In bearing new life, we are given a very special way in which to contemplate love of God. We can ponder Mary holding her precious son, and put ourselves in her place, transferring the intensity of love we felt for our own new child to this one, who is Lord of All.
Women can explore love of Him in ways which men cannot.
It is a very great gift. We are so very blessed.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
On statements one should not believe
I wonder if the big bad wolf smiled down into that child's face and toothily whispered:
"Don't worry, I won't bite you."
"Don't worry, I won't bite you."
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Presence of Love
The Presence of Love by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro' all my Being, thro' my pulse's beat;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.
And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro' all my Being, thro' my pulse's beat;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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